Category Archives: Confessions

A May Birthday And A Dragonfly Nursery

Photo Credit: Colette Brockman Photography

If you have been with me from the start, then you know I am a planner by nature. I am always thinking ahead – to the next occasion, the next milestone. I spend months prepping and planning every detail to emulate the vision in my head.

Unfortunately, we can’t always plan ahead. We can’t always prepare ourselves for what is to come. Life is a journey, filled with both immense  joy and deep sorrow.

In 2012, I was pregnant with my first child. I was basking in the joy of this new chapter in our lives. This new journey I was about to embark on, when tragedy struck. I lost a very dear friend. A childhood friend. We had grown up together during those very awkward high school years. Although college lead us down separate paths, we were able to stay consistent in our friendship and when I married my husband in 2009, she was right there by my side.

I like to think that each friendship we have brings something different to the table. A unique social quality within our own inner circle that no one else could possess. She was a straight shooter. Meaning, she always told it like it was. No sugar coating or dancing around a hard topic. She wasn’t mean or harsh. She was incredibly thoughtful and wise. She was the perfect person to talk to when you were trying to sort through something. That’s what I tell people. That’s what she brought to the table.

Since her passing, I have never meet another person who possesses the same quality. Something that is both wonderful and extremely frustrating all at the same time.

Sometimes when I am driving somewhere by myself, I will talk to her about everything and nothing. Wheeling her to help me sort through things or give me a sign as to which path I should take next. Often times, just telling her how much I miss her…

So I thought, what better way to celebrate my dear friends birthday today, then by talking about the inspiration behind my second daughters nursery.

A Dragonfly Nursery

After her passing, I found a necklace she had given to me as a birthday gift one year. The stone was a lavender hue, with metal dragonflies surrounding the top. In that moment, it occurred to me that this would make the perfect nursery theme for a little girl.

While pink is my signature color and I had already settled on butterflies for my daughters nursery, I knew if I ever had a second daughter, this necklace would be the inspiration behind her nursery. And three years later, it was meant to be.

So as you make your way down the hall, you will find a small nursery donned in her signature color. Complete with lavender sheets, curtains, a changing cover, and crib quilt. Beyond the colorful accents of the room you will notice something else – dragonfly’s all a flutter.

Nursery Decor

  • Dragonfly mirrors I purchased from Amazon.
  • Purple and gray dragonflies cut out of card stock, so friends and family could write well-wishes to baby “A.”
  • Dragonfly digital art piece from ArtsyTypeShop on Etsy. She was wonderful about changing the font to a lavender color!
  • The most important piece of decor – The Dragonfly Necklace. 

**Frames, hook, and mirror purchased at Hobby Lobby.

Happy Birthday my friend. I have yet to meet anyone who can match your qualities. As you peek in on each of my girls, I hope your heart is full.

But most of all…

“I hope you touch dragonflies and stars, dance with fairies and talk to the moon.”

Love always,

Nikki

In Twenty Minutes Everything Will Be Ok

A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend about our morning routine. Well… I wouldn’t call it a morning routine, so much as a chaotic mess. Anyway, I was discussing with her one specific morning where both my children were visibly unhappy with everything. I couldn’t do anything right and I am surprised we even made it out the door at all.

Shortly after I finished my overly dramatic story, another mother chimed in with her own chaotic tale. Because of course, what is motherhood without at least a few of those. Her story began where all great motherhood stories do, with poop! The short version of events goes something like this.

“Child A poops in the tub. Child B sees said poop and proceeds to throw up on the floor. All while Child C is crying somewhere in the background.”

In that moment, she calls a fellow mommy friend who gave her some of the best advice.

Step back,

                     take a breath,

                     in twenty minutes everything will be OK.

And it was.

In twenty minutes, she had cleaned up both the poop and the puke. The baby was no longer crying. Everything was OK. In a child’s mind the gears shift rapidly. What rocks their world one minute is no longer important the next.

Yet, as adults, sometimes those moments tend to linger throughout our day. Well, for me anyway. Sometimes shaking off the craziness of the morning rush isn’t so easy. I ponder about the recent events, wondering how I could have done it differently. Maybe if I hadn’t raised my voice? Gotten my toddler up sooner? Allowed her to have that peanut butter sandwich she requested for breakfast? Just left the baby in her sleeper without feeling the need to dress her?

The list go on and on…

Most of the time, I am probably too hard on myself. I mean, aren’t we all at one time or another? Motherhood is that crazy, beautiful mix of fun and messy. But sometimes its those messy parts that trip us up a bit. When our children have moved on to the lighthearted fun, we are still stuck in the mess, wondering “how to do it better.” 

Parenting is hard, y’all! But that’s just it. Sometimes we get so caught up in the messy, that we miss all the beautiful fun. I don’ know about you, but I hate to miss those moments! So the next next we have a messy moment, I am going to-

Step Back, Take a Breath, because in Twenty Minutes Everything Will Be OK!

Tell me about your recent messy parenting moment? Were you able to move on quickly or did you spend time pondering the recent events of the day?

Copyrighted By: Boldly Bravely You

I Can’t Do It All And That’s Ok

I can’t do it all and that’s ok

As I sit down to write this, the day is already half over and I feel as though I have enjoyed so little of it. Between breakfast and lunch I was busy cleaning bathrooms and sweeping floors. Life is a balancing act. One that I sometimes feel as though I am failing at miserably.

Time Management 

Time management. There are dozens upon dozens of blog posts dedicated to the topic. I have read quite a few of those myself and while I admit, they are inspiring, I have yet to find a good balance.

As a child, I remember my own mother constantly moving around the house. She worked in our home and still managed to do all the cooking and cleaning. She wore it like a badge of honor. As did many others in her mom tribe. During that time, whether you worked inside or outside of the home you were still expected to do it all. Honestly, I have no idea how my mother did it!? But she did. She is one amazing woman.

So, when I embarked on my own motherhood journey I to, assumed I would just do it all. But the truth is, I can’t. It’s taken me awhile to be OK with that, but I am. My husband and I work as a team and we have realized through a lot of trail and error, that we just can’t do it all.

Take last night for example, my husband was trying to clean up some outdoor toys we stored in the garage for winter. My oldest is a Daddy’s girl, so of course she wanted to help.  Except, it was more like dance and twirl around while my husband cleaned. It ended with my almost 4 year old falling butt first into a bucket of pine-sol. This resulted with her in the tub for a good scrub and her favorite bat girl pajamas in the washer…

The list goes on and on… 

Since my husband was home today, I decided to spend the morning cleaning. Although, we could have spent the morning as a family unit – playing and laughing together… These daily decisions to check items off a list are not always easy. Even now, as I type this, I had to decide between this and a laundry list of other things.

I look around and see the kitchen is in desperate need of my attention. A bucket in the living room needing to be emptied so that I can fill it with my daughters out grown baby clothes. I need to carve out more time to fill in the pages of my youngest baby book. I ABSOLUTELY need to organize almost fours years worth of my daughters photos, for which I NEED to start printing.

Not to mention, I need to spend more time growing and developing my blog. When my baby was in the newborn phase, I had a small window each week to work on my blog or her book. Now that she is more aware and preschool is about half over, I feel as though I should be spending these next few months taking her to library story time instead. She won’t always be this little and I know I need to take a step back and enjoy these little moments.

Moments

As I type this, nap time is almost over. Which means it’s time to put all work away for now, because I promised my big girl we would make hot cocoa together. We plan to drink hot cocoa and chat about the day, while I hold the baby in my arms. I wouldn’t miss that date for the world!

Goals

Like so many others who made resolutions for this New Year, I have a few goals of my own. Although I don’t have a plan of attack for how best to achieve them, I know I have to forge ahead. Hopefully I will discover a good path, a rhythm that works best for my family and I. But no matter what comes, I will always stop, to embrace these little moments.

Do you have a good time management balance for life? Does it ever feel like the list is never ending? I totally get it! We can navigate through life and motherhood together. It takes a village!

Copyrighted By: Boldly Bravely You

Preparing For Baby #2 : Are you ready?

 Are you ready?

Wherever my round belly and I go, this is the question I receive most often. In a previous post, I talked all about this current pregnancy and shared some of my feelings. Since writing that post, my answer to the infamous question, “Are you ready?”, is still very much the same.

No!

No, I am not ready… Honestly, it feels as though I will never be ready. This simply question makes me want to jump out of my skin! It’s not that it bothers me when someone asks, because it doesn’t. It’s one of the first questions that pops into a persons mind when they see a large round belly coming their way. I, myself, have asked that question at least a million times. So why does it make me want to run in the opposite direction? Well, because  it instantly sends my brain into overdrive – thinking of the laundry list of items still not done!

Laundry List – Baby #2

  1. Clean out and organize the nursery closet. (We had previously used this closet as extra storage. It also happens to be the smallest and most awkwardly made closet in the whole house. It was build based on the location of the room. So, not only is it tiny, but in order to utilize every square inch of shelf capacity you have to crawl inside. Obviously this is not ideal and based on the location the closet it cannot be reconfigured.)
  2. Nursery furniture. (The issue is not with the nursery furniture, as we have all the necessary items from our first child. Unfortunately, our oldest doesn’t have a new set of bedroom furniture. So we have not been able to place the nursery dresser and storage cubicle in the nursery. We have been hunting for a preowned adult sized dresser that I could have refurbished. Although we visit every local secondhand store  each week, I just haven’t found what I am looking for.)
  3. Nursery Decor. (I realize this is not a “big deal”, as the baby doesn’t care. But it is something I enjoy doing! I love carefully selecting and pinning ideas for a sweet, yet sophisticated theme that can grow with her. I finally have a clean picture of how I want it decorated. It’s just a matter of purchasing the last few items and hanging them on the wall.)
  4. Clothing. (With our oldest daughter I made the mistake of not organizing her out grown clothes before packing them away! Ugh! I now have all different sizes shoved together in several boxes! My poor husband is pulling them out as we speak, so I can spend all night going through them! This time I will be armed with labels and a sharpie, so I never have this headache again!)
  5. Organizing the nursery. (This is a tough one. Remember, this is the smallest room with the smallest closet in the house. So even if the dresser and storage cubicle were in the nursery, it still wouldn’t be enough…)

So, while I am still not ready for this baby’s arrival I know eventually it will all get done. Even if it takes a little longer than expected. For now, I will head down stairs with labels and a sharpie in hand, ready to tackle the mount of boxes that awaits me!

Were you “ready” for the birth(s) of your baby(s)?

Copyrighted By: Boldly Bravely You

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Why I Won’t Share My Baby’s Name With You

When I was pregnant with our first daughter a lady very bluntly asked me if I was going to find out the gender before delivery. Before I could even answer, she went on to state her opinion on the subject. She firmly believed that having this knowledge before delivery took all the joy and excitement out of the baby’s arrival. It was then, that I proceeded to tell her we were in fact going to learn the gender ahead of time. As the displeasure of my answer crossed her face, I went on to say that we would NOT however, reveal her name until after she was born.

Why I won’t be sharing my baby’s name with you:

  1. Just like the lady who bluntly stated her opinion as to whether or not I should learn the gender of my baby  prior to delivery, people will also have opinions on the name you choose. And to be honest, I don’t need to hear whether or not you like the name. Choosing a name is one of the most difficult decisions a parent can make. So the last thing any parent-to-be wants to hear about a name they have spent months agonizing over and carefully selecting, is how awful YOU think it is.
  2. It’s a SURPRISE! I love the fact that there is still something I know and you don’t. When friends and family learn you don’t plan to share the name until the birth, it makes it that much more exciting. People are very eager to know something they have had to wait nine months to find out. Plus, who doesn’t love surprises?!
  3. Stealing. This one I find a bit funny, as no one person has claim over a name. At the same time, I understand how it could feel frustrating to share a name you have carefully selected only to have someone decide to use it as well. For me, when thinking of names I do try to steer clear of using another family members name. Only because I think it could get slightly confusing if you had two Aunt Sally’s or something like that.
  4. What if we change our minds? While this was not an issue with our first pregnancy, it would absolutely be a concern this time around. Although, family members have suggested that by sharing the name prior to the birth, it would make it easier to receive personalized gifts. What IF we change our minds? Think of all those sweet gifts we couldn’t use?
  5. A story in the making. Sharing your baby’s name after the birth can result in some pretty memorable stories you will have forever. When we shared our oldest daughters name, my father had difficulty remembering it. So much so, that when his co-workers asked him the name of his only grandchild his mind went completely blank. He could not remember her name to save his life! My mother still gives him a hard time about that! This funny little story is one we wouldn’t have if we had shared the name months in advance!

Did you have a name selected before your child was born? Did you share it with friends and family ahead of time?

Copyrighted By: Boldly Bravely You

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