Changes: Making Mommy Friends

When I first had my daughter I was thrilled to be a stay-at-home-mom. I cherished every beautiful, challenging, and messy moment. As the days moved into weeks it eventually became time for me to return to my part-time job. It was a job I had since college. A job I kept after receiving my degree and landing my first fulltime position! Honestly, it was more than a job – it was my second home, my family. I had worked with these people for the past 6-½ years. We laughed together, shared stories of love, heartache, and struggle.

When one door closes…

My husband being the kind, patient man he is, kept telling me – “When one door closes, another one opens.” “Just let it go and move forward.” These sweet sentiments were difficult to hear. I was not prepared for this and I am a person who likes to be prepared. But now, as I look back at the last two years of my life I realize that God had a better plan. For whatever reason, he had to shut that door, that chapter of my life so I could move forward with this one. Sometimes our wisdom is best gained from looking back at the past, at least it this case.

Making mommy friends…

One thing my mom has always said is, “I should have made time for myself.” It wasn’t until I was 15 years old that she finally started meeting up with girlfriends and going out. So, before I had my daughter I was scouring the Internet looking for local mom groups. Luckily, I came across the fit4mom website, typed in my zip code and WALA! Stroller Strides classes were offered in our area. I loved the weekly workouts, play dates, and monthly moms night out! This community of amazing mamas became some of my closest friends, whom I still talk with on a regular basis.

Fast-forward to this past February and we moved into our first home, closer to my husband’s job. Meaning? You guessed it! There was no fit4mom franchise in our area! So now I had to try and make new friends all over again, but this time it was different. This time, I didn’t have a sleeping infant in a carrier. This time, I had a toddler, complete with tantrums and running shoes. See the problem?

After the first few months of hibernating in the house due to both the cold and my fears of finding my way around, I soon realized I needed to venture out of these four walls or I might go crazy! So, I found a list of local library story times and began checking them out one by one. I found most of the libraries to be amazing. So much so, that we have been frequenting them most of the summer, with little time spent outdoors…

But honestly, it wasn’t so amazing in the beginning. I was putting too much pressure on my daughter and myself during these outings for either of us to enjoy them. She did not want to sit for story time and forcing her was only making it worse. Then, I was trying to make conversations with other mamas, which just felt too forced. Truthfully, it WAS completely awkward and it showed!

After a few months of these un-enjoyable outings I decide I needed to make a change! I needed to focus on enjoying the time with my daughter. So that’s what I did! We visited the libraries during story time, giving her the option as to whether or not to go into the story time room. Since then, we have not actively participated in a single story time and you know what? It has been great!

Currently she plays with the toys and other children who don’t want to stay in the story room. Through giving her some choices and focusing on us, I began making mommy friends again. Of course it was a slow process, but it wasn’t forced or rushed. Now I get to enjoy time out with my sweet baby girl and chat with some new friends. All while chasing our toddlers around!

I would love to hear about your experiences when it comes to making friends as a new mom or after a life-changing event, such as a move! Please share your stories of success and struggle with me! Remember, we are in this together!

Copyrighted By: Boldly Bravely You


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